There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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