Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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