so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
