Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
