I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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