While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
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I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
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You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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