dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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