Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
