went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
