I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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