Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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