Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
