Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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