so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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