Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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