I heard we made out
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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