My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize