ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
