Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
