Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
