you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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