we should wear snuggies to the strip club
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?