Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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