Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
