sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
