she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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