i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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