it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize