Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am puke
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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