the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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