Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
