I don't think brook has ever known best
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Oh god it's open bar.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
