worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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