Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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