Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you had me at cake vodka
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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