I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My liver just had a heart attack.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
