So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Randomize
