Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize