i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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