like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I forget how to act sober
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
