I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
