Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
