you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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