Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
