I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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