she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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