wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
