I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
