I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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