Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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