She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
