So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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