I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
