remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
