I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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