that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Are my feet made of real feet?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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